Sometimes my thoughts at 2:30am are not quite rational. I let my son go to a midnight showing of Ready Player One. I dropped him and a friend off at the theater and headed home to make myself comfy on the couch and wait for his text to come pick him up. It’s about 2:15am and I haven’t heard from him. I text him to see if everything is ok, but I don’t get a reply. Of course not, he’s watching a movie. But, that is the irrational thought at 2:30am. I head over to the theater to wait. But, the parking lot is nearly empty. Is everything really ok? Why aren’t there more people here? Is the movie still playing? Of course it is, the movie should let out at 2:40am, it’s only 2:30am. I sit and wait, telling myself everything is fine, and trying my hardest to believe it. More irrational thoughts at 2:30am. At 2:35am I get the next, ‘The movie is done’. He comes walking out of the theater and everything is fine. Of course it is. Letting my child out until 2:30am can be a scary thing…for me.
We make it home safely and I’m completely wound up, sleep will not come quickly. I won’t fight it. I turn on some mindless tv, wind down, and wait for the tired feelings to come. I know I have a few last minute preparation for Easter tomorrow and 1 last slice to write. They will get done. I may be a bit more tired than usual, but everything will work out.
It has surprised me a bit that I was able to write a slice about myself for 31 days straight. Some days were definitely harder than others, but once I started writing the words always came. It may not have been great, but it still happened. It makes me wonder if I can challenge myself to do something else for 31 days. I may give it a try.
This spring break has been very productive. Because we made no special plans I was hoping to get many items checked off of my to-do list. Mission accomplished! So, this morning I decided not to look at that to-do list. We would have a relaxing breakfast with good conversation. A new coffee shop opened near me. Since being in college my daughter has started to really enjoy coffee shops. We chose to have breakfast at the new coffee shop. It is so quaint with a great atmosphere. We each got a breakfast panini with coffee or tea. It felt like a very adult thing to do.
Then us girls wanted to do some shopping. I was not going to torture my husband with this activity, so we dropped him at home and then off we went. The girls picked out a few summer shirts and some nice things for Easter. My daughter needed (wanted) some things to make her field work easier, she is an OT student, so we bought those as well. Taking care of more adult responsibilities.
We arrived home to have some more time together before most had to go to work this evening. We decided to decorate Easter eggs. A childhood activity mixed in with all of the adulting. The eggs are so colorful with some interesting designs on them. The creative minds of my family can lead to some interesting artwork. Sometimes the simple days are the best days.
Easter is 3 days away. It does not feel like Easter. I have to keep reminding myself of this. My memories of Easter have always been of the time for new beginnings, and of the warmth and Spring growth that starts the season. This is the time that we would get out the baskets, put up a few decorations and participated in various activities waiting for the day to arrive. As of late (maybe the last 10 years) this warmth has not happened and I have to remind myself, constantly, that Easter is coming.
The weather may have changed over the years but the traditions have not. I put out the decorations and begin the search for just the right items to put in their baskets. When the kids were younger they would get their picture taken with the Easter bunny. Payton reluctantly participated. The girls happily sat on his lap. We would decorate eggs on Good Friday and spend lots of family time together throughout the weekend. The kid’s baskets would be filled with Spring items like chalk or bubbles. A book was a must. And, the bathing suit, towel, and sunglasses were a staple. They would so look forward to seeing the type of design they got that year. For several years they would put their swim suits on right away and laid out their towels. They played that way most of the day. Not your fancy, Easter Sunday finest, but it was fun. Then it was time for the Easter egg hunt. Each child was allowed to find 10 eggs, plus one special big egg with their name on it. If you find someone else’s special egg, don’t grab it. Only take yours. When everyone found their eggs they opened them up together, quickly. Happily displaying the money that was in one of their eggs, trading for their favorite candy, and finding that extra special something in the big egg.
Easter is 3 days away and the kids are older. I want them to enjoy traditions and not be forced into them. So I ask, “What would you like to do for Easter this year?” They look at me with a little bit of surprise, “What do you mean? Do what you’ve always done.” So, we will do what we’ve always done. We will spend Easter morning at home. They will go through their baskets. They will have an egg hunt and get a special big egg with their name on it filled with an extra special something. We will enjoy this time. No matter the age we will enjoy these traditions together and I will look forward to seeing them spread these traditions on to their families.
Picture Day….usually this means school pictures, family pictures, Christmas pictures, etc. It has a slightly different meaning in my house. Truth be told I’m a picture crazy lady. I take pictures of everything. Each of my children have their picture day…each month. Bayley’s day is the 26th, because she was born on the 26th. Courtney’s day is the 27th. Payton’s is the 10th. They know this, they are used to it. Sometimes they give me a hard time about it, but they always give me my picture. Sometimes it’s late at night because I forgot during the day. Sometimes it’s when they are sick. Sometimes it’s on a beautiful, sunny day while on vacation. Other times it’s them taking a selfie and sending it to me because they are not home on their picture day. If it’s just an ordinary day it’s in the living room. It started the day they were born and it lasts until they leave for college. Bayley is in college so she no longer has her picture. I try to get one when she is home, but her album ended in July 2014. She was on vacation with friends, it was a selfie. Courtney had her picture day yesterday. She will be leaving for college in mid August. She has 4 more picture days left. I still have a few more years with Payton. I’ll try to make these last ones interesting.
In a previous post I had mentioned that we got new carpeting. We got the carpet about 2 months ago. It was a pretty big project. The living room, stairs, and all of the bedrooms were carpeted. Everyone had the responsibility of completely emptying their room. Everything needed to go into the basement. The only thing allowed in the bedrooms was the big furniture; bed, dresser, and desk. The living room items were pushed into the kitchen/dining area. After living in our home for 20 years we have accumulated lots of stuff. The basement was full and the kitchen/dining area had just enough space for me to sit at the table and wait for the installers to arrive.
They arrived within the 2 hour window. Closer to the beginning of the window than the end. Things were starting out well. I kept out of the way. I had my seat at the table and a puzzle to keep me busy. As I was sitting there I had not expected to see padding and carpet falling from the sky, well from my bedroom window. It is easier and more efficient to chuck it out the window than having to make many trips up and down the stairs. Ok, I can live with that. Things are moving along nicely. All of the old stuff is on my lawn and the new stuff is being installed. There’s constant activity; furniture being moved, carpeting being cut and pounded into place. As I look up from my puzzle I see that it is lunch time and I’m getting hungry. Now, I made myself a nice little spot at the table, but I left room for nothing else. Both the fridge and pantry are blocked. As I continue to look at the clock I realize that it’s my daughter’s off-campus day for lunch. I’m crossing my fingers hoping that she will have enough time to bring some lunch home and get back to school for her afternoon classes. As I’m about to dial her number she texts to ask if there is anything I need….oh yes there sure is. She brings home some Chipotle and now I’m sure I can make it the rest of the day. It turns out the rest of the day only turns out to be about 3 more hours. These workers were fantastic! They got everything complete within about 6 hours time. I thought it would take much longer. This was a nice surprise. My husband arrived home just as they finished and we did a quick inspection. Everything was perfect and I love it. The kids’ rooms have not been this clean since the day we moved it.
Over the past 2 months I have been reluctant to move things back into the bedrooms. I’m enjoying the clean rooms very much. The necessities get moved back in first. This is ok because the rooms still look so good. I tell the kids not to just pile everything back in. Throw things away. If they haven’t used things since they were 5 then get rid of it. They have been pretty good with this task. Now it’s my turn. If I haven’t used it since I was 5 I will get rid of it.
I have not been a binge watcher. I do like tv. Mainly the criminal shows, it drives my husband a little crazy. I don’t like the crazy about the shows, it’s the genius way they figure everything out, not reality I’m aware, but I find it interesting. Sports are another thing that will be on my tv; baseball and football are the big ones. Basketball, but not as much now that the Bulls are terrible. Some hockey, tennis, bowling. The only ones I don’t really watch are soccer and golf. Recently, my husband found The Magicians on Netflix. I missed the first few episodes, but now I don’t want to stop watching. So, part of my Spring Break will definitely be binge watching The Magicians…starting now. A bit of a mindless day and I’m ok with that.
Oh I found myself frustrated for a short time today. It’s a Sunday. Not only that, it’s a Spring Break Sunday. And, my husband and 2 of my kids are working this evening. My oldest is heading back to college after her Spring Break. I have the house to myself. This should be my time to have fun or relax with a glass of wine or scrapbook or do just whatever I want. But, I find myself working on an assignment for my class. I was torn. I want to get this done. But why now when it’s completely my time with no other responsibilities. I actually get up off my chair and close my computer, just to sit right back down again and open it up. If I don’t get this done now I will be kicking myself at 10:00 tonight and working on it then. I’m determined to get it done now and still have some evening left. I don’t just want to work quickly so it is done. I want it to be professional and knowledgeable. I want to be completely focused. But, I find myself looking at the clock and thinking… ok this should take only 20 more minutes and then I can have time all to myself. But, dang #5 takes a little more thought. I do want to get this done, but I want it to be thoughtful. Maybe it will only take 30 more minutes. Finally, I get it done. Hopefully, it’s reflective of what I was truly meaning and it makes sense to those who read it. Homework done, slice down, now the rest of my evening will begin.